Thanksgiving: Friends, Family, Football, Food, and...Fights?!!

The holidays are upon us. Thanksgiving is in less than two weeks. For many it is a favorite holiday. Family, friends, football, food…what could go wrong? For many Thanksgiving is not a time of joy and cheer. Holidays bring out the best and worst in people. Over the next weeks I will be blogging on the challenges of the Holiday season in hopes that this will encourage a more mindful approach to the stresses people experience in this joyous time of year.

Today is an ode to that relative or guest that has to always be right.

Do you know somebody who is always right? Everybody believes their right. Clearly we would not do or believe in something if we were wrong. 

But I mean do you know somebody who is ALWAYS right? What I am referring to is  that  person in your life, who is willing to go down kicking and fighting and take down everyone within a 50 foot perimeter to win every single argument… so you clearly understand that they are right and that is the only thing that should matter to everyone in the room- kind of right. Yes…we all have met this person at one time or another. Maybe we have even been that person at one time or another.

Just think of that person for a moment. What thoughts come to mind when you think of that person? Are we feeling warm thoughts of “I just can’t wait to see them soon”, or “Thanksgiving is going to be extra special since we are going to be spending the whole day together- warm kind of fuzzy feeling”…or do you try to avoid them or having any discussion with them that will lead to just one more of those right vs wrong, my way or the highway debates?

There is a heavy price for needing to be right. The cost of being right is not only happiness, but can also be loneliness, anger, and altercations. Not only do you ostracize everyone around you, there is no win here. To be right means that someone else has to be wrong. You win, they lose. A win-lose is a lose for everyone. Only a win-win is a win. The only way to win is not to be so focused on demanding to be right.

Action step: You have to choose which battles to pack and which battlefield you are ready to die on. Before you go into battle, ask yourself “Do I need to be right this time?” Are you willing to sacrifice happiness for being right? Are you willing to sacrifice your friend or family member’s happiness to be right?  It is a heavy price to pay.